Wow! Week four already. Sorry I am a day late – I got a little behind because I was sick over the weekend. But I am all caught up and have so much to share! What a week this was. Definitely not an easy week of learning, the last seven days covered some tough stuff (at least for me).
Day 22 – Love is Faithful
Today’s Dare: “Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these, “I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don’t love me in return.”
2/2/2015 – I have found that if my heart isn’t in the right place – focused on God, serving HIM – then I am serving my husband selfishly, usually looking for recognition, love in return or just to complete my dare for the day. I need Christs love and my heart focused on serving Him before I can properly serve and love my husband. Then I find myself not begrudgingly doing things for my husband or getting upset when he doesn’t notice or respond. Because I was serving my Jesus and doing it with His strength.
Day 23 – Love always protects
Today’s Dare: “Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that’s stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.”
2/3/2015 – It has been about a year now since I started to throw away a lot of junk so to say from my life. First I got rid of certain people in my life. Ones that were harmful influences and unhealthy relationships For a while I got rid of any music that wasn’t uplifting or encouraging and there are days now where I find myself not listening to anything but Christian music. I stopped watching certain tv shows and most chick flick movies. Occasionally I’ll watch a chick flick – but I usually end up turning it off because of the negative thoughts I start having about my husband or own marriage. I am very careful with whom I talk about my husband to and what is said. I try to have “mentors” who I can bounce problems or issues off of and get advice and wisdom from. They keep me accountable to not bash Josiah and look into my own life to see why I feel that way. **I am not saying that music or chickflicks are wrong, I am just saying personally they become a stumbling block for me and the way I view my life, husband and marriage. Country music is still one of my favorite genres and I LOVE the classic romantic comedies…just not always healthy for me to partake.
Day 24 – Love vs. Lust
Today’s Dare: “End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you’ve swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It mush be killed and destroyed – today – and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.”
2/4/2015 – Recently an area of lust/discontentment that I’ve been fighting has been wishing my hubby was walking with God and was the spiritual leader of our home and being able to walk together in the same beliefs. But as I’ve said before, giving him up to God, not trying to change him, praying night and day for him and asking God to give me the strength to be a witness and spiritual influence in our home has been the best thing for our relationship so far. I love my husband for who he is, I am thankful for all he is and I trust God will do the rest. When I keep my eyes and heart on God and to meet my spiritual needs I am truly content in my marriage. My prayer every morning is to not loose sight of all that God has blessed me and our family with and that HE is my strength.
Day 25 – Love Forgives
Today’s Dare: “Whatever you haven’t forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to “forgive us our debts” each day, we must ask Him to help us “forgive our debtors” each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart, “I choose to forgive.”
2/5/2015 – This is something I have a hard time with, more so because I hold against him the possibilities that he hasn’t forgiven me. But this lesson goes to show that his forgiveness of me isn’t my responsibility. And it’s not. As soon as I got over that and forgave him no matter what his stance was, I was able to let go of the bitterness and a huge weight was taken off my shoulders. As long as I don’t let myself get caught up in the bitterness I don’t have the weight back on my shoulders.
Day 26 – Love is Responsible
Today’s Dare: ” Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God’s forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accet it by receiving it as counsel.”
2/6/2015 – He needs to see consistency. I’ve been really working on consistency across the board. Not over promising or over doing and making sure I don’t talk bigger than I can do and then most of all, follow through. I’ve been trying to be intentional about the things I do.
Day 27 – Love Encourages
Today’s Dare: “Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you’ll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.”
2/7/2015 – I think learning that we have different values in life helped us both with expectations we expected each other to understand and attain Once we both learned and understood the others values the expectations started to diminish. And as long as I don’t loose focus and don’t become selfish in serving Josiah then I don’t struggle with those unrealistic expectations. It’s when I start having a pity party/poor me moment that I start building and placing unrealistic expectations.
Day 28 – Love makes sacrifices
Today’s Dare: “What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now? Is there a need you could life from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.”
2/8/2015 – Ever since starting this book I have been more attentive to Josiah’s needs. Taking the stress off at home seems to have made home more of a “safe” place, a restful place where he wants to be instead of has to be. He has appreciated the extra help and he has seemed less stressed even when life has been extremely stressful plus we end up working like a team better when the stress is low.